I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
