People with herpes should wear stickers.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
