you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
