Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
