I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
