Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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