wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
