the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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