Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
