it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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