wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
