Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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