i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Mom said you looked used
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
