Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
