I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
