Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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