Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my being single is dangerous.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
