he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
