good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
