Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
