NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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