I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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