oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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