Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
