Please, let me fuck your mom
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
