that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
