i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
