that's an acceptable place to lick
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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