i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
