It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
