i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
