I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
