it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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