I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
