My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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