Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
