she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
