i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Pants are for mortals
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