Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
