it wasn't lemon gatorade
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
