how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
