College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
