it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
is wine microwaveable?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
