isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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