it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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