have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
