dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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