so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
