If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
