Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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