Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
